Day 1 - Leave from Baltimore around 11am. Baltimore to Phoenix with aconnection in Houston. Don't care to fly through Texas, nothing good about Texas. Too Hot, Dallas Cowboys, JR Ewing, Enron, G.W. Bush, Pappa Bush, etc.... Fuck it, Texas has oil and supports G.W. Bush (who terrorizes me daily with his stupidity) why aren't we bombing them. Anyway I digress, just don't care at all for Texas. Arrive in Phoenix 5pm. Pick up convertible. Drive to Tempe. Arrive at Swenk's.

Around 5:30pm. Swenk answers door in boxers, just waking up from a rough Friday night. Throw back a couple of beers. Head to Slices for pizza. Cruise in the 'vert. Pick up a 30 pack. Pick up Chick. Head to Tom and Boozeman's place. Wake up Tom, napping after work. Throw back a couple more beers. Go to Shady Grove, start slamming Capt & Cokes and T & Ts. After an hour or so Boozeman arrives on the scene. More Capt & Cokes and T & Ts.

Cab it to Mason Jar in Phoenix to see Rye Coalition. At Mason Jar, beers and shots start to fly around. Soon enough Tom is drooling at the bar, somehow amazingly maintains composure and holds back the impending vomit. Chick on the other hand can’t and the bar at the Mason Jar is coated, with enough vomit to fill a mason jar. Swenk looking out for little sis moves Chick to a couch and goes back to his beer. (Note: not sure why we haven't been kicked out yet). Along with all this apparently Rye Coalition had van trouble in transit from their last gig and it doesn't look like they will be making it. So with no band to entertain us the only thing to do was kick up the drinking a notch. More beers, more shots. Chick is passing out on the couch, Swenk takes over the situation and gets her out of there. Chick pukes again and bangs her head on the cab door, as they make there way back to Tempe. Tom, Boozeman and I hang out a while longer (details are fuzzy from here on out). Grabbed a cab. Went to Greasy Tony's for late night pizza. Got on a bus.....

Day 2 - Wake up bright and early at Tom and Boozeman's. They both have to work. So I head to Swenk's around 9:30am. We go to McDuffie's at 10am to watch football and grab something to eat. 11 hours, 2 servers, 2 football games, 2 meals, 12 pitchers and a $150 plus bar tab later, Tom shows up. Swenk and I close out our tab.

It's about 9pm we go to Swenk's to meet up with Boozeman. Tom, Boozeman and I hop in the 'vert, Boozeman driving (he's amazingly sober at this point), and head to O'Kelly's for open mike night with Chucky Baby. We grab a table right up front, so Tom can yells out requests if he needs to. Michelob Light bottle start coming in rapid succession for the next 3 or 4 hours, along with the occasional, Jamison and Bailey's shot. After an hour or so of this, blackout sets in. Note: The rest of Day 2 is based only on what I've been told and hearsay. Beers and shots continue. Some sort of indecent exposure incident occurs. Little issue with the bar tab. Tab apparently came to over $150 (in less than 4hrs on $2 bottle night, apparently the culprit was the 21 shots of Jamison and Bailey's). Left the 'vert at O'Kelly's. Cabbed it back. Passed out.

Day 3 - HELL! Only word to describe the agony and pain felt through out the day. Wake up to Boozeman ironing his work uniform (this would become a regular incident, sort of began to feel as if I was starring in some sort of demented version of 'Ground Hound Day'). Tom and Boozeman go get the 'vert for me, and then head to work, leaving me directions so I can meet them at their work for lunch and drinks. Shit. Crash out for a couple more hours. Wake up. Shit again. Head pounding. Fridge is bare nothing to eat or drink (expect beer or about a milliliter of seltzer water). Crash out again till 3 or so. Shit again. Think to myself, "Am I still be drunk, could that be possible?" Various internal dialogs come about, such as imagining the possible scene with a traffic cop.

'Son, have you been drinking?'
  'No sir, haven't had a drink in over 12 hours."
'Don't lie to me boy, you smell like a god damn brewery. I'm going to have to bring you down to the station.'

And so on....

Hop in the 'vert stop at 7-11 for Propel. Head to the Buttes to visit the boys at work. Feeling a little better in the fresh air, but still seem to have a buzz. Meet them at the pool bar, Tom's cooking, Boozeman's bartending. Order an ice tea and food. Tom fixes me up a chicken sandwich and Boozeman starts fixing me up all sorts of drinks. Sandwich is good but can only stomach half or it. Finish the ice tea, can't finish the 3 drinks Boozeman has made me. Watch Tom attempt to peg various birds and targets around the pool with snow balls (made from the frozen drink machine). Shortly after that I head out. Shit one more time before leaving the hotel.

Head to Swenk's, shave, shower, etc... It's probably around 5pm or so starting to sober up, which means the actual hangover is on the verge of setting in. Watch some TV. Around 8 or so Swenk and I head over to Ruby Tuesday's, Where Tom is working. Can't eat any of my Chicken Caesar salad. Back to Swenk’s.

About 10pm Boozeman calls to see if I want to go out. As I'm on the phone I tell him I'm feeling like shit and in mid-sentence it happens. I race across the room to the garbage and fill Swenk's garbage can with bile and booze (it was a very liquid vomit). Laughter from Swenk in the kitchen and Boozeman on the phone fills the room. The rest of the night was spent recovering on the couch watching football and sleeping.

Day 4 - Wake up, feeling much better, shave, shower, grab a bite to eat. Everyone is working so I have some time to kill. Head to Borders and buy the new Audioslave CD. Throw it in the CD player of the 'vert and with top down go on a little cruise of Tempe and Phoenix, listening to the CD. Around noon meet up with Swenk and Steph, run some errands, drop his bike off to have shipped back east, grab lunch at Casey Moore's. Couple beers and sandwiches. Feeling much better now. We then pick up Chick from work. Back to Swenk’s. Couple more beers. Then head out to meet Tom and Boozeman, to go to the TOOL show.

Pre-game at Alice Cooperstown, beers, Capt & Cokes and T & Ts start flying around. Catch a pretty solid buzz. Head into the show. NO BEER SERVED AT THE SHOW, DAMN IT! Tool puts on yet another amazing show, Justin's birthday, Maynard announces they are recording the show (let’s hope for a live CD or DVD).

After the show head back to Alice Cooperstown, find Boozeman waiting at the gate, looking distraught, the bar is closed. As we are wandering around looking for a water hole we find the Madison Bar (this place makes Wee Pete's, the PV and every bar in Wayne County look like the Taj Mahal). We get the fuzzy eye ball from all the patrons as we walk in, quick v-line to the end of the bar and belly up. The smell of urine and urinal pucks is rather strong at this end of the bar. They only have the Beast on tap, Tom orders up a pitcher. The bartender looks only a few days from meeting the reaper, but after some time manages to pour us a flat pitcher of Beast, which tastes like its well on it's way to becoming some form of vinegar. Tom asks the bartender to turn the juke box up and then throws a couple bucks in. After struggling to put the pitcher down, we switch over to Beast Ice cans. Play a couple games of photo hunt, can't get the high score but manage 2 through 5. We finish the cans and decide to look for fresher air.

Find some bar stools at the Hard Rock cafe. Beers and shots start to fly around again. Juice the bartender had his eye on Swenk, at least that's what Tom said. We close the Hard Rock and head back to Tempe. Back at Swenk's more beers, order pizza, crash out watching Stand By Me. Boozeman snores like a beast all night, Tom has all sorts of issues attempting to sleep on a pool floaty (Swenk's floor is all ceramic tile). Don't sleep very well in general.

Day 5 - Wake up shower and pack for the road trip to San Diego. Swenk, Steph and I head over the Tom and Boozeman's. Tom packs. Go to Mae West for lunch. Pile in the 'vert and hit the road, Tom (aka Master Navigator) is in shotgun, Swenk and Steph in the back, I'm driving. Good drive. Stop in Yuma for gas, drinks and sun screen. Hot as hell in Yuma, don't know how anyone could possibly live there. Continue on the drive, cross into California. Cruise through the Imperial Sand Dunes, very cool. Start to hit the mountains. Temperature starts to rapidly drop and wind picks up. Finally is gets a little too cool, so we pull over in Boulevard, California. Note to self never go there again, absolutely nothing there. Put the top up, get back on the road. Sun is setting, a bitch to drive in since we are heading west. Pass through San Diego, hit some traffic. Get to SD Freak Headquarters without any major issues. Boop greets us. Excellent pad, 3 car garage, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, dinning room, hot tub, etc...

We head to Squid Ho's for beers, shots and dinner. Barna meets us there. Throw back a couple more. Then decide to giter' dun back at the house.

Send Swenk and Barna on the beer and booze run. Meanwhile we throw some beers back while playing Up the River, Down the River. Upon their return they have 2 cases of beer, 3 bottles of booze and a couple bottles of champagne, for the 8 of us. We head to the garage, pull the 'vert in for tunes and such. Slimak comes home from work. Shots start to fly. Tom makes a solid double gulper of Jamison and Bailey's. Not bad but definitely strong. Now it's Barna's turn. Not exactly sure what he put in it but it definitely kicked things up a notch. After the 16 shots the bottle of Jamison was gone. Barna's shots were a quarter of a plastic Solo cup and sent just about everyone outside to hurl. Things are a little hazy after that. Lots of Heavy Metal, shit talking and beers. Tom passed out in the back of the 'vert. Things get even cloudier. Next thing I know I'm watching Slimak and Swenk play air hockey at Squid Ho's, with no idea how we got there, next memory after that is a lot of pushing, yelling and such, apparently some dude tried to jump Slimak in the bar and we all got tossed out or something. Honestly don't really know. Back to the house, to crash out.

The following sequence has been put together with at least what I imagine occurred. Apparently in my drunken blacked out stupor I went into the garage, maybe to piss outside, maybe to get something out of the car, who knows. At this point I'm not wearing my glasses or contacts and what must have happen is that when I entered the garage (which is pitch black at night) and the door (which is spring loaded) closed behind me. So now you have a vision impaired drunken freak, who is passing in and out of consciousness, wandering around an unfamiliar pitch black garage, 3000 miles from home. Thoughts start to wander in and out of dream states and reality (never thought you could have a bad trip from drinking, but this was damn close, might have been what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity). I come out of my black out and my eyes adjust to the darkness somewhat (remember very poor eye site without the spectacles), only to find myself in some sort of Wes Craven horror movie. The little bit of light available peers through the cracks in the garage door (note at this point I don't realize I'm in the garage, in San Diego, etc...), and casts just enough shadow to distort the whole scene even more. I start seeing things and the mind starts to play tricks on me. I'm thinking I'm trapped in some sort of dungeon, I can't escape, don't want to make any noise and disrupt whatever locked me in there, etc... This goes on for some time. After realizing the door with the little peering through was a lost cause of escape, I started walking away from the light, reaching out to touch and try and feel what was around me. As I'm trying to decipher what I'm touching I come to the conclusion that it's a car. Start to feel for the door, when I realize it is a convertible, all of a sudden the light of reality hits me in the face like a Lennox Lewis jab, and I like "Oh, I'm in Barna's garage, in San Diego next to the 'vert". I open the door, hop in the driver seat, find the pillow and blanket Tom had left behind, recline the seat and go off to dream land. Barna wakes me on his way to work the next morning and tells me I can crash in his room.

Day 6 - Wake up, slight hangover, but nothing compared to Monday. After Monday I feel I can handle just about hangover, this week. Barna suggested we go to Hennessey’s an Irish Pub and Grill for lunch and he takes off for work. Tom, Swenk, Steph, Slimak and I hop in the 'vert and make our way. This was to be the first in many navigational miscues our local guide would have through out the day. We park the car and walk around a entire shopping plaza where the restaurant is to be. Then start walking down the street, obviously clueless as to where we are going. After asking 2 different people the Master Navigator save lunch and finds our way to Hennessey’s. Beers, Bloody Mary's and Mimosas start to flow. Finish lunch. Head back to the house, hot tub, shower, etc... Back in the 'vert for the trip to Tijuana.

Get to the border our local guide is confused, as too where we are. We parking the 'vert and walk to the border. Getting into Mexico simply walk through 2 turnstiles. As soon as you cross all you can see are Pharmacies, shops, bars, strip clubs and Mexicans in our face trying to sell you everything from drugs, booze, women and cigars to bubble gum, toys and jewelry. First sentence out of Swenk's mouth in Mexico, "Why the Fuck am I back in this greasy hell hole?" First sentence out of Tom mouth in Mexico, "Wow, these are the nicest people." We wander around for a bit. Some Mexican sees us a little confused as to where to go and directs us across the bridge to downtown Tijuana.

The main strip in Tijuana more ridiculous than the border, it is like an obstacle course where you have to dodge, people trying to sell you clothes, taxis, souvenirs, bubble gum, beer, booze, drugs, women, pictures with donkeys painted like zebra's, etc.... Tom talks one gentleman into giving us 3 for 1 drinks, free Tequila and Steph drinks for free, if the place and the guy didn't look so shady we would have taken him up on it. We make our way to Tijuana Tilly's, a some what subdued bar and fire back some cerveza and margaritas. By this time dusk is starting to roll in and thoughts of "From Dusk till Dawn" set in, so we start making our way back to the border (plus we have the TOOL show tonight).

This is where things start to go awry, our guide has no clue as to were to go, we can see the US customs entrance but to get to it we'd have to cross 6 lanes of road leading to the world's busiest border cross, plus "No Pedestrian" signs are everywhere and the thought of having to deal with Mexican authorities is not a pleasant one. We wander around some more, Mexican taxi drivers see us (sort of like the vulture pouncing on the confused injured prey in the desert) start hounding us, for rides and trying to give us directions. Finally we say fuck it, we'll chance it and cross the 6 lane road, and hop the median and fence. We then pay $0.50 to use the restroom and then head to US customs. Give Tom shit about how they are going to let him back in the US because he looks Mexican. Go through a metal detector. Then into a room with a hundred some other people to wait in line to have our IDs checked and let into the country. We get through that without much trouble, basically just a pain in the ass. Back to the 'vert and off the San Diego State University for the TOOL show.

Show starts at 7:30pm it's going on 6pm so we have time to burn. Having never been to SDSU before and our guide having been there before, we say lets find a bar, regroup, try to score some tix and get a hold of Barna and Boop. Our guide who was just talking about having partied at SDSU said he didn't know where any bars were. So after driving in circles, I put it in bar finding mode, saw some neon, banged a left and came across Effin's Pub. Park the 'vert and headed on in.

Order a pitcher of beer, a pizza, some cheese steaks, etc.... Slimak and I score tix to the show. Another pitcher of beer. Tom, Swenk and Steph are going to hold down the fort at Effin's. We attempt to get a hold of Barna but no luck, various cell phone issues. Tool put on another amazing show, more aggressive then the Phoenix show, again Maynard announces they are recording the show. AND AGAIN NO BEER SERVED AT THE SHOW! After the show back to Effin's to meet up with Tom, Swenk and Steph.

We walk in and Tom, Swenk and Steph are at a table near the front of the bar, Tom is smiling ear to ear. It just happens to be Thursday night which is "Party with Steve Langdon Night" apparently a SDSU tradition. Steve Langdon is a one man band, looks like a cross between a beach bum and a hippie with a mullet, jean shorts, tank top, sandals, and BO. He sorts of parodies, regular songs into beer drinking rowdy party songs. For instance, when I walk he had the whole bar singing Happy Birthday to a couple patrons, but the lyrics were "Happy Birthday, FUCK YOU, Happy Birthday FUCK YOU, etc....." and the birthday people had to slam beers. Needless to say things were pretty rowdy, as they say "An Effin' Good Time!". Threw back a couple rounds there and then headed back to Barna's to meet up with him and Boop. Drank some more, played a couple rounds of Tic-Tac-Toe quarters, then called it a night.

Day 7 - Wake up sort of groggy from a shitty sleep, shower up and whatnot. Load up the car and head on out. Cruise to Encinitas. Have lunch at the Roxy (Note: this is not a chain associated with Club Roxy in Long Pond) which turns out to be a natural food restaurant. After some Falafel Burgers and Lasagna with rice (Tom didn't like the lasagna.) we headed to the beach. Much to cool to swim or anything, hung out for about a half hour, piled back into the 'vert and cruised back to Tempe.

Back in Tempe around 8pm. Drop Swenk and Steph off, Tom and I head over to his place. Shower up and fired back some beers and head to the Mill Ave Brewing Company to see this buddy’s band. Fire back some beers and shots. Not much doing at the MABCO, so we head to the Stray Cat (this is one of the AZ freaks regular stomping grounds) belly up to the bar and proceed to get it dun. Capt & Cokes, T & T and a variety of shots start flying around. Boozeman meets up with us after work. Things start to get hazy. Close the place down. On the way out Boozeman dares Tom to stick his head in the beer tub or something and Tom almost falls in. Pick up a pizza at Greasy Toney's, then back to the house. Crash out.

Day 8 - Wake up on the couch to a familiar slight (at least for this week) of Boozeman ironing his work uniform (i.e. the shirt and pants he was wearing the night before). Tom and Boozeman head out to work. I crash of a little bit longer. Shower, do laundry, grab a bite to eat at Mae West. Head over to Swenk's chill out and watch football.

Later on Swenk, Steph, Mel, Chick and I go to the Crocodile Cafe for dinner (and beers of course). Upon leaving the Crocky Cafe, three beautiful young ladies in skimpy school girl uniforms come up and give us free drink cards for a new bar The Library. Swenk and I not ones to pass up a free beer, stop by and belly up. Cool bar, big screens, bookcases, pool tables, lounge and waitresses and bartenders dressed in skimpy school girl outfits. Not a bad bar idea. Anyway about half way through are beers it seems as through the Crocky Cafe was sitting pretty with Swenk so we pounded our beers and took off back to his place, so he could care of business.

More beers back at his place for pre-game for the BLESSED BE THY NAME show. Mel and Chick come over with a bottle and some beers. Boozeman and Tom show up with another bottle. Good times start to roll. Couple beers, drinks and shots and we made our way over to the show. Run into 'Shocker' Matt at the show. Fire back more beers. Boozeman's kickin' the double T & Ts. Opening band was W.O.M.B (Warriors of Make Believe) very cool band. Three stunning young ladies dress in ritualistic type garb (sort of like something off a Jane's Addiction album cover or video), all sorts of artwork, video screen and even two other girls blowing flames. Along with the eye catching show and production, were these beautiful voices and haunting music, sort of like Souisie and P.J. Harvey melded with Jane's Addiction.

Next up was BLESSED BE THY NAME, armed with the camera and a solid buzz we headed to the front of the crowd. Smoke fills the stage, various band member make their way to their positions on stage in full 'War Paint'. The band starts up and Eddie makes his way to the microphone, to immense enjoyment and fury of the rabid crowd. They tear through an incredibly intense set with moments of absolute insanity and calm intensity. The audience was going absolutely ape shit. After the show Tom, Boozeman and myself head back stage to say hello to Eddie and the guys in the band. Waited around a little while to find out where the after-party was, but no luck. Which was actually probably a blessing in disguise, I had to catch my flight out in the morning so to continue into another blackout probably wasn't the most prudent of ideas, no matter how tempting.

Day 9 - Wake up. Drop the 'vert off. Catch my flight. Get home around 8pm. Crash out.